Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to

Men are like dogs, train ‘em right and they’ll do whatever you tell ‘em

Yes. I’m Mr Right. Just not Mr Right Now.

For all those men who say “why marry the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Here is an update for you! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig for a little sausage!!!!

Men have a short attention span…but that is just the way we is…sorry gotta go, saw something shiny in the corner.

The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is What does a woman want?

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
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The thing women have yet to learn is that most men don’t give a shit.
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Going to bed with my wife. And by “go to bed,” I mean “read a bit, have her tell me to get my hand off her ass, then fall asleep.”
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meh… men… over it…
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(Your Name Here) has got a dirty mind a gutter mouth I’m making time for going out with your wife….. coz I’m a low life hahahaha
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(Your Name Here) wants 2 find a guy who calls you beautiful not hot, who calls you back when you hang up, the guy who kisses your forehead.. the one who turns around and says ‘thats her’.
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Men are simple things. We can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, beer, and more beer…
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