Men have a short attention span…but that is just the way we is…sorry gotta go, saw something shiny in the corner.
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3(Your Name Here) is changing his name to ‘Hugh Geego’
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-1There’s a fine line between footy shorts and anal floss
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-3The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is What does a woman want?
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1Time flies when your foaming at the mouth
(+1 rating, 5 votes)
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2(Your Name Here) can see right through you like you’re bathing in Windex
(0 rating, 4 votes)
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2(Your Name Here) thinks her internet would run faster if she ran around in a circle and generated it herself…
(+1 rating, 3 votes)
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0(Your Name Here) thinks it’d take her half the time to get ready if there weren’t so many mirrors to stand and admire herself in
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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-1(Your Name Here) is thinking procrastination is my friend… so much to do, so few people to do it for me..
(No Ratings Yet)
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-4No one loves me everybody hates me i think ill go eat worms
(-1 rating, 5 votes)
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3(Your Name Here) wants to tell the nice stranger she saw while driving, “Next time you wave at me, try using all of your fingers.”
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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0(Your Name Here) doesn’t think that people take him seriously…
(-1 rating, 1 votes)
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0WTF WAS THAT!! Did you just FART with your face?!?!?!
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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5I’m typing this for no reason and you guys are reading it so you guys just wasted like 30 seconds of your life for reading this random thing for no reason.
(0 rating, 4 votes)
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47(Your Name Here) doesn’t understand why people like gay statuses such as ‘John feels really sick…like, ‘Judy is sitting’….like, ‘Emelio just went outside, got struck by lightning and peed on by a puppy’…..like
(-1 rating, 3 votes)
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2(Your Name Here) looks through the Forbes list of the richest people in America every morning. If he’s not there, he goes to work.
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1(Your Name Here) is wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.
(+4 rating, 4 votes)
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1(Your Name Here) wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
(+4 rating, 4 votes)
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3Always use tasteful words . . . . . you may have to eat them.
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1(Your Name Here) believes that common sense is not really that common, it seems that a lot of people were not around when it was handed out…
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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1I’m the one your mother warned you about and the one your mates told you to find..
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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10It’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
(+3 rating, 3 votes)
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0Prostitution Is The World’s Oldest Profession And I, Dear Madame, Am A Professional.
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0For your information I love my demons because they keep me company
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1(Your Name Here) bets you don’t actually laugh when you say “lol”
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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0(Your Name Here) is restringing his air guitar
(-1 rating, 1 votes)
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1Going to bed with my wife. And by “go to bed,” I mean “read a bit, have her tell me to get my hand off her ass, then fall asleep.”
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1God, Please Give Me The Strength I’ll Need To Put Up With The People That Will Piss Me Off Today
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0(Your Name Here) is eating (friends name) nuts
(-2 rating, 2 votes)
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-11(Your Name Here) feels like feeding panadol to seagulls
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0According to the map we’ve only gone four inches. -Dumb and Dumber
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0It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
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1Dear Monday, I still f*%$#@ng HATE you
(+4 rating, 6 votes)
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1The opposite of productive is facebook
(0 rating, 2 votes)
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1I think Ikea must have drawn up the instruction manual for life….. which explains why no one can figure out what the hell is going on or how to fix it
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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1They cant all be my mates….mate…
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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1This status update is so pointless it may as well end in .com
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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6Two sandwiches walked into a bar, the barman said “sorry, we don’t serve food here
(+1 rating, 3 votes)
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0Lost me bloody head again,. if you find it please return
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-1To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down. – Love and Death
(No Ratings Yet)
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1Damn fb not letting me get ready……move away from the computer (Your Name Here) MOVE AWAY
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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0Life is like a box of chocolates, ur always gonna get eaten no matter what!!!!
(0 rating, 2 votes)
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2Revenge is sweet! I’m going to live long enough to have my second childhood! Then sit back and drive my kids insane,just like they are doing to me!
(0 rating, 2 votes)
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0Never underestimate the power of the smiley faced stamp.
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1Can i kick you please?
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
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1(Your Name Here) i is aware that her profile has some “Fishy” content, but have no fear…she will turn herself in to the White House Internet Police.
(+1 rating, 1 votes)
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1Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.
(+3 rating, 3 votes)
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0Hmmm should I flash or not flash?
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