Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to
Tagged: funny RSS
-
Cool
-
Cool
Men are like dogs, train ‘em right and they’ll do whatever you tell ‘em
-
Cool
It’s better to have loved and lost…..than to have stayed with an idiot
-
Cool
(Your name here) is not feeling blue…..she’s feeling Lavender…..
-
Cool
(Your name here) can report after decades of lying his pants are not on fire
-
Cool
Who would be dumb enough to stick their toe in the faucet?
-
Cool
‘you’re cute when you’re mad’ ‘well, I’m about to get adorable’
-
Cool
I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares
-
Cool
“You know… that guy… with a face and name…”
“Ohhhhh him.” -
Cool
(Your name here) wants to tell that nice stranger she saw while driving : ” Next time you wave at me , try using all your fingers
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is killing 2 stones with 1 bird
-
Cool
alcohol is not the answer………..it just makes u forget the question!!
-
Cool
For all those men who say “why marry the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Here is an update for you! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig for a little sausage!!!!
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is not responsible for her attitude tonite… please ring 1800-likeigiveashit… and leave a message for someone who cares…
-
Cool
Men have a short attention span…but that is just the way we is…sorry gotta go, saw something shiny in the corner.
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is changing his name to ‘Hugh Geego’
-
Cool
There’s a fine line between footy shorts and anal floss
-
Cool
The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is What does a woman want?
-
Cool
Time flies when your foaming at the mouth
(+7 rating, 31 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) can see right through you like you’re bathing in Windex
(-4 rating, 16 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) thinks her internet would run faster if she ran around in a circle and generated it herself…
(+6 rating, 18 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) thinks it’d take her half the time to get ready if there weren’t so many mirrors to stand and admire herself in
(+3 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is thinking procrastination is my friend… so much to do, so few people to do it for me..
(+2 rating, 4 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
No one loves me everybody hates me i think ill go eat worms
(-5 rating, 19 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) wants to tell the nice stranger she saw while driving, “Next time you wave at me, try using all of your fingers.”
(+13 rating, 15 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) doesn’t think that people take him seriously…
(-5 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
WTF WAS THAT!! Did you just FART with your face?!?!?!
(-2 rating, 10 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
I’m typing this for no reason and you guys are reading it so you guys just wasted like 30 seconds of your life for reading this random thing for no reason.
(+6 rating, 26 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) doesn’t understand why people like gay statuses such as ‘John feels really sick…like, ‘Judy is sitting’….like, ‘Emelio just went outside, got struck by lightning and peed on by a puppy’…..like
(-2 rating, 16 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) looks through the Forbes list of the richest people in America every morning. If he’s not there, he goes to work.
(+5 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.
(+5 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.
(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
(+12 rating, 12 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
Always use tasteful words . . . . . you may have to eat them.
(+7 rating, 9 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
(+1 rating, 3 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) believes that common sense is not really that common, it seems that a lot of people were not around when it was handed out…
(+5 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
I’m the one your mother warned you about and the one your mates told you to find..
(+2 rating, 4 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
It’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
(+8 rating, 10 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
Prostitution Is The World’s Oldest Profession And I, Dear Madame, Am A Professional.
(+2 rating, 2 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
For your information I love my demons because they keep me company
(+2 rating, 6 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) bets you don’t actually laugh when you say “lol”
(+8 rating, 8 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is restringing his air guitar
(-1 rating, 3 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
Going to bed with my wife. And by “go to bed,” I mean “read a bit, have her tell me to get my hand off her ass, then fall asleep.”
(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
God, Please Give Me The Strength I’ll Need To Put Up With The People That Will Piss Me Off Today
(+2 rating, 6 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) is eating (friends name) nuts
(-6 rating, 8 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
(Your Name Here) feels like feeding panadol to seagulls
(+3 rating, 3 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
According to the map we’ve only gone four inches. -Dumb and Dumber
(+4 rating, 4 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
(-1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
Dear Monday, I still f*%$#@ng HATE you
(+12 rating, 16 votes)
Loading ...
-
Cool
The opposite of productive is facebook
(+6 rating, 8 votes)
Loading ...